Those Who Speak With Giants
by ShadowSong StarGlaive The Wolf
Summary: [Oneshot]Harry, Ron, and Hermione try to teach Grawp to talk, like they promised Hagrid... No OoTP end spoilers, no pairings


A/N Hello and welcome to my fic!

Now, I have a few things to say- like I know this story might've been done before, but I'm not going to go looking for it. There's far too many Harry Potter fics out there to go swimming through them to find one.

Second, like I said, there are no Order of the Phoenix spoilers for the end, so you can breathe again. This is about a week after they met Grawp.

I also have no things to say about the sixth book, which, yes, I've read, because I hate spoilers for books when some people haven't read it.

On with the fic!

(Begin Those Who Speak With Giants)

The trees in the Dark Forest swayed with the wind, but that was not all that they shifted to. A hoarse roar echoed from the greenery, and a startled deer leapt out of the forest roughly half a mile away, the roar almost as frightening as the thing yelling itself.

"We seriously can't be doing this," muttered a lanky, red-haired person, slipping his wand in the pocket of his robes. "We are all mental, in probably in a few minutes, all dead."

"You have such a cheery, lovely attitude," commented Hermione, checking her cat, Crookshanks, making sure he was comfortable. Sweeping a lock of bushy brown hair out of her face, she added sternly, "Ron, understand that we are doing a favor for Hagrid-"

"Yeah, feeding Grawp if that's what you mean," retorted Ron, pulling on a sleeve of his robe, adjusting the cuff. "Harry, you have to agree with me."

Harry choose not to comment and instead said, "We'd best get down there before Hagrid starts to think we're blowing him off."

Personally to Harry, the thought of teaching a giant how to say things without hurling tree trunks terrified him, as it did the other two, but they put on brave faces for Hagrid.

Walking out of the portrait hole, Ron muttered, "We'd better get paid well for this. I'm not going to get my limbs torn off to please Hagrid."

"Ron-" started Hermione, but a look from Harry silenced her, saying "Let him lament for now".

As they walked down to the grounds, the trio began discussing what to teach Grawp exactly.

"I think greetings would do well- I mean, he needs to know how to say 'Hello' and 'Welcome!' to people who go into his part of the forest, right? To be polite?" asked Hermione, stepping over a moldy stick that had been hurled out of the forest.

Ron snorted, still obviously displeased with his task. "Like, 'Hello, sir- can I have your arm or your leg? Your choice!' What a waste- no one will go near him, as long as they have any sense."

Harry ventured his suggestion. "What about names- we might be doing this for a while."

While Ron looked absolutely horrified by the proposal, Hermione nodded. "Good- maybe we can make him stop saying 'Hermy'."

"Whatever, Hermy," said Ron lazily. Throwing a disapproving look at her red-haired friend, she sniffed and looked ahead at Hagrid's cabin.

The cabin door burst open, and Hagrid, in all his half-giant glory, came striding out, a huge smile on his bearded face.

"Harry! Ron! Hermy!" he boomed. "Sorry, bin listening to Grawp go on and on about you three- still can't get your name quite correct, but other than tha'…" With his small black eyes, crinkled with delight, he surveyed the dismayed Hermione, the green-tinged Ron, and the stunned, blinking Harry. "Let's go!"

Picking up his crossbow, he entered the forest, with the three fifteen-year olds following, sharing scared looks.

"What- what about the centaurs, Hagrid?" squeaked Hermione, not forgetting the last encounter with the half-horse half-humans.

Hagrid shrugged. "Dunno, Hermy- er, Hermione. I heard today's a special day for them, star-gazing fiesta tonigh'. Getting' ready for it."

Ron, who frankly looked appalled at this news, looked at the sky, as if the bright sun would foretell his death by centaur arrow.

Delving deeper and deeper into the thickly wooded forest, small grunts and crashings came from a clearing, and just as they entered it, a giant pine tree, roots already torn off, slammed in front of them.

"Stan' back!" roared Hagrid, pushing the three students back, "Now hol' on…"

Cautiously stepping forward, Hagrid called, "Grawp? Grawpy? Yeh got friends here, to talk to yeh!"

"I wish he wouldn't call us Grawp's friends," muttered Harry. "He might think of us as expendable, because he now has four friends…"

"Please look at the bright side," whispered Hermione, eyes on the full giant now inspecting a boulder with far too much interest for Harry's comfort, "We're helping Hagrid's half-brother…"

Ron was about to give his two cents about the subject, but Hagrid interrupted, saying "Wha' a relief, Grawpy's a bit tired today- might make him more relaxed! Ah'll step back here and let you talk wi' him for a while!" He stepped back into a shady spot of trees, crunching several fallen branches and blocking all the sunlight to the clearing.

Over the fallen pine tree, the three students peered through the dirty branches and needles to see a blank-staring Grawp chewing on a sap-sticky pine branch.

"Uh… let's go," ventured Harry, green eyes wary.

"What do we say to him? Teach him?" whispered Hermione, "I think we should do greetings today, still-"

"That's great Hermione- you start," Ron said in a shrill voice. The three, very cautious, wands out behind their backs as not to frighten Grawp, stepped towards Grawp.

"Hello!" called Hermione loudly. "Hello, Grawp!"

"She's mental if she thinks that Grawp is actually going to answer," muttered Ron, and Harry couldn't help but agree.

Grawp looked up, and in thick, distorted speech, said, "Hermy?"

Hermione waved the hand that was not clasping, shakily, her wand, about. "Her-mi-o-ne," she said, slowly and deliberately.

Grawp stared blankly at her. "Hermy. Hel-lo."

Hermione beamed at Ron and Harry. "Look!" She turned to Grawp, saying, "Har-ry! Ron!"

Grawp slowly got up, saying, "Hairyron?"

Harry ducked his head and snorted, while Ron choked back laughter. "Very good," he said, wheezing. "What do you think, Hairyron?"

Harry looked up, and waved his hand. "Hello, Grawp!"

Now Grawp looked confused. "Grawp? Hello… Grawp?" He pointed at Ron. "Hairyron?" He pointed at himself.

Hermione waved her hands. "No, no! Hairyron- er, Ron-" she pointed at the boy, doubled up now, red hair almost scraping the ground. "Grawp!" She pointed at the small giant.

Grawp was getting angry now. "Ron? Where Hairyron?" he roared, stamping the ground. Earth shifted, and many rocks beneath his feet crumbled.

Hermione shook her head. "Hairyron…" She threw a pleading look at Harry.

"Hairyron… left," he said weakly.

Grawp picked up his rock and hefted it up onto his shoulder. "ME WANT HAIRYRON!"

"He got attached to a person who didn't exist…" muttered Harry. Suddenly a flash of inspiriation hit him. "Wait Grawp! I'm Hairyron, I just got back-"

Now thoroughly confused, Grawp hurled the boulder inches from a very battered looking tree.

An explosion took place, and all three of the students threw themselves to where Hagrid was standing, avoiding the flying splinters and bits of branches.

Hagrid came hurrying out, grabbing up Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We'll come back later, Grawp!" he yelled, and crashed out of the forest.

Only when they exited did Hagrid set them down. All three looked terrified, and Ron's hair was on end.

"Are you three okay?" asked Hagrid, then looked behind him. "Oh, dragon dung- I left my crossbow in ther'- could you three-"

Hermione swooned, and both Ron and Harry caught her.

"I was just joking!" said Hagrid weakly as they carried her up to the castle.

(End story)

A/N Reviews and other welcome! A little, funny story to entertain me and others….

Review and enjoy your day!


End file.
